Exactly why I Don’t Always Provide People An Answer
I have a standard leadership exercise, which I repeat as often as possible. I don’ t always give people an answer.
I’ ve been using it for many years – as a head, father, a friend, and also a pastor. People come to me in each of these roles looking for solutions, but I choose to reply different from what they might expect (or also want initially).
I don’ t always provide people an answer.
- Being a pastor, people visit me for solutions.
- The boys, now produced, often still reach me for solutions.
- As being a friend, people arrived at me for answers.
- Nevertheless doing occasional guidance, people come to me personally for answers.
- As a head of a team, the team comes to myself for answers.
In either case, I don’ t always give people an answer.
I actually don’ t try to solve their troubles for them. That may seem hard to understand, maybe even cruel associated with me, unless you discover why I don’ t.
Right now, if there is a clear Biblical answer for their issue or issue, I actually give it to them, when i understand it. And there are certainly items, which are my responsibility and I have to make a decision. I make lots of decisions everyday. I’ m not scared to be the deciding voice when one is required of me. In fact , truth be known and based on our personality, it would be natural for me to give solutions.
Yet, this discipline has served myself well in leadership.
See, I’ m talking about choices, which are the responsibility of other people to make. They are the issues more difficult in order to discern. Things such as career choice decisions, the calling in life choices, who to marry, how to respond to a marriage conflict, how to deal with difficult parents or children or friends, and so forth – the unsaid answer type decisions. When there are multiple, seemingly good available options, I don’ big t try to solve their problem.
For those type issues, I possibly have an opinion, but I almost never “ have” the answer.
We help people discover a paradigm through which to make the decision.
- I help them find all sides of the issue.
- Through questions, I actually spur bigger picture ideas about an issue.
- I share Scriptures, which may speak to both sides of the decision.
- As an outside tone of voice, I become a target listener.
- I connect them with people who may have experienced similar issues.
- Diagraming the problem, as I hear it, I hope them see an issue on paper. (This is one of my top features. )
- I help all of them learn to pray and listen for the voice of God.
And I release these to make a decision.
Here is my reasoning,
If I solve the problem for them (or attempt to):
- I’ m just one viewpoint — and I am often wrong.
- They’ lmost all resent me if this proves to be a incorrect decision, and keep in mind that less the next time.
- It could mean they never take ownership of the issue.
- They’ ll likely perform what they want anyway.
- Valuable abilities of listening to the particular voice of The almighty could be missed.
- Personal encounter will be lost. (And, that’ s the most effective way we learn. )
- They will only rely on somebody giving them the answer the next time, failing to develop actual wisdom, which comes through years of fumbling through the hard decisions of life.
Our advice – designed for leaders, parents, pastors and friends:
Don’ capital t always give a solution – or at least not really THE answer.
Help people form paradigms through which to to solve problems and make wiser decisions.
Ideally we would like people to develop healthful decision-making skills. We would like them to gain reliance on God and the acquired ability to seek and discern wisdom. Whenever we always make the decisions for them – whenever we always tell them precisely what they should do – they become as well dependent on others and might never develop fully into who The almighty has designed these to be.
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