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Exactly what Porn and Pity Have to Do With Child-on-Child Sexual Assault


This particular Guest Piece Has been Written By Heidi Olson, RN, BSN, CPN, SANE-P, SANE Program Coordinator at Children’s Mercy Hospital in KS and MO. 10 Minute Study. Trigger Warning.

CAUSE WARNING

The next post contains descriptions of abusive scenarios involving children. Audience discretion advised.

Let’s become Honest—Pornography Fuels Child-on-Child Sexual Assault

By Heidi Olson, a RATIONAL Certified Pediatric Doctor in Kansas City

As a nurse, you hear particular pieces of advice recurring throughout your career.

The best and many accurate advice originates from the mouths of those older, wiser, plus experienced nurses that have seen it all, plus somehow continue to trudge along throughout grueling 13-hour shifts. These nurses always give some version associated with, “Trust your gut, ” while you find it difficult to figure out what is incorrect with your patient. As a new nurse, this concept makes no sense. You want specifics, charts, vital indications, and numbers. But as you grow, you understand, that “trusting your gut” gives insight into the unspoken, essential pieces of a situation.

I am the Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner (SANE) in a large children’s hospital. My job is to collect evidence, look for injuries, provide assistance, and testify in trials for sufferers of sexual attack. If you’ve ever heard of a “rape kit, ” SANE nurses are the ones who gather the evidence for the packages.

Brain Heart World

My initial gut instinct

I remember distinctly, where I was sitting down, several years ago, when our gut told me something was off. I used to be talking to the parents of a 5 year-old-girl who was simply sexually assaulted simply by her 12-year-old brother. The father of the kids stumbled upon the assault, and there were no questions as to what kind of violation took place. Because the tearful parents grieved and asked, “Why would our kid do this? ” the mind pondered these same questions.

Here is the fact: children learn these kinds of sexually aggressive behaviors. Children don’t naturally act out sexual assault on each other. They don’t instinctively want to violate or press sexual boundaries using their siblings or younger children. These things are learned. Of course , many children who act out in sexually harmful methods have been victimized by themselves, but what my intuition told me, is that there is an unspoken factor occurring in many approaches.

Related : Porn Has Fueled A 400% Within Child-On-Child Assaults In the united kingdom

Many sexual approaches occur because of what perpetrators have been exposed to via their screens. Children watch chaotic sexual acts, without previous direction or insight into what is regular, healthy, sexual habits, and then perform these sexual acts upon other children. This really is extremely concerning since pornography is more accessible and violent than ever before, which correlates with the rise of child-on-child sexual assault.

As the mind raced over these thoughts, the mother of the children blurted away, “Well, we have found a lot of porn on our son’s phone lately. Do you think that has everything to do with this? ” I knew in that moment that these 2 things were totally intertwined.

They can’t drive, but they’re committing attack

When I became a SANE nurse, I thought the normal perpetrator was almost certainly going to be a weird older male in his 60s, who lured kids into his basement with lollipops, but I was incorrect.

The biggest age range associated with perpetrators that I notice in my hospital is definitely CHILDREN. In fact , within 2016, 2017, and continuing this year in 2018, our greatest age range of people doing sexual assaults are children ages 11-15 years old.

Let that sink in for one minute.

These types of kids aren’t even old enough to drive. Yet, they are committing the most sexual assaults in our region. To place this in an a great deal larger perspective, my medical center sees one of the greatest volumes of sex-related assault victims in the United States. Our numbers are usually large, meaning these types of young perpetrators aren’t an anomaly.

Related : Uncovering How Porn Energy sources Sexual Harassment Within Schools

I was alarmed by the amount of 11, 12, and 13-year-old perpetrators I was viewing. I started looking through our previous sexual assault victim’s stories and discovered hundreds and hundreds of information of sexual assault survivors who were perpetrated by another kid. Pornography is often a traveling factor, and sometimes the only factor that influenced a child to act out in a physically harmful way. As I have studied the data, and observed more and more patients, it is imperative that we be familiar with way that pornography is creating disastrous effects for children across our nation.

Watch : Expert Heidi Olson Talks About the Role Porn Plays in Child Sexual Assault

The increasing trend of child-perpetrated sexual assault

The children which i see are not within a vacuum. Stories associated with child-on-child sexual strike are ringing out all over the world. The trend keeps growing rapidly. With pornography being so wide-spread and easily accessible, a growing number of children are viewing and subsequently acting away what they see upon vulnerable children. Often their younger family members. It’s not just young boys, we are viewing young girls as perpetrators as well.

The options are not quick or even easy. There’s shame involved with families who have a child sexually act out on another kid. Most families do not want to talk about, or admit that this tragedy has occurred within their family. There are not many specialized therapy groups or any court-mandated services that cater to this problem, so there are restricted resources for recovery. To compound the matter, we live in a culture that consistently normalizes pornography, and refuses to acknowledge the particular ugly truth it fuels sexual strike and rape tradition.

Associated : “No Consent, No Problem”: Exactly how Porn Sells Harassing Nightmares As Intercourse Fantasies

In these tranquil moments of disaster, in the Emergency Section, while the dust settles and families try to make sense of what is happening, I hear the truth. I clearly see the correlations. I hear the confessions that will pornography influenced sex-related assaults. I listen to the truth that pornography has been made of a target, shown to a target, or was the direct reason why a child acted the way he or she do.

I use seen things that I cannot write about, violence which is hard to fathom, let alone explain, moments that have left me nauseated and in tears. Stuff are inflicted on beautiful, innocent children, at the hands of other children. Brutal assaults are usually carried out by the fingers of teenage males who believe that sex-related violence is “normal. ”

I see kids who else think that anal plus oral sex are regular before they’ve even gone through puberty. I actually come face-to-face along with stories about children who do not pay attention when a victim repeatedly tells them, “no. ” Why? Since they’ve seen the violence, the strangulation, the slapping, the particular name-calling of women one thousand times in porn material and think that it really is “normal “sexual habits. Then they act this out, leaving behind a wake of destruction for themselves, plus their victims.

Fighter Beanie - Tan

Both perpetrator plus victim, and the role shame plays

There are so many heartbreaking elements to this issue, and it’s crucial that you remember that the perpetrators are also victims.

While I do not condone their actions, and stand with sufferers of sexual assault, children who are acting out sexually may also be victims of a tradition that will not protect all of them. A culture which allows them to be exposed to intimate violence while calling it “normal. ” A culture that will not offer services to get children who are addicted to pornography and performing out. A tradition that does not allow kids today to have early years filled with adventure, chasteness, and wonder; but rather is filled with airbrushed naked bodies, chaotic sexual acts, as well as the demolition of an whole generation of children who have been sexualized simply because they could look at a screen.

Shame performs a leading role in silencing both the sufferer and the perpetrator from seeking help or speaking up. The majority of victims feel that the particular assault was in some way their fault, and wade through a complicated and devastating truth, trying to make sense of what happened. Children who view pornography and act out in dangerous sexual ways usually feel that they cannot inform anyone what is happening. Sex, masturbation, pornography, plus sexual assault are usually topics that are in no way brought up in houses or by caregivers. Shame sends the message that speaking up will result in getting humiliated, rejected, and pushed away.

Related: Is There A Connection Between Porn Themes And Sex Offender Features?

Shame perpetuates the devastating cycle associated with silence, abuse, plus addiction to pornography. Children who are exposed to porn material rarely speak up or seek help from an adult, scared of what the reaction is going to be. Parents, caregivers, plus guardians have to develop an environment where it is safe to talk about “taboo” issues. Otherwise, kids get lost down a dangerous path of looking at more and more pornography, and eventually act out what they’ve seen on various other vulnerable kids.

The United States is usually seeing thousands on thousands of our children getting sexually assaulted each year, which also means that thousands of children are deemed perpetrators every year. This particular reality has enormous ramifications on both edges of the equation with regards to mental illness plus adverse health results. What will the world end up like in 20 years when an entire generation of adults have all experienced sexual violence and trauma at the hands of each other?

My gut instinct turned out to be right. Pornography is fueling one of the best-kept secrets of our period. Childhood innocence has been destroyed at lightning speed.

But the good news is the fact that we can help.

Charcoal And Gold PKL

How we can secure, validate, help, and educate

One of the best things the parent or caregiver can do is responding with validation toward your child. Whether your son or daughter was the one assaulted or your child was the one who confessed to struggling with pornography, they must be met with sophistication and acceptance. If a child says these were assaulted, believe all of them! Research shows that kids (and adults for your matter), do not lie about sexual strike. They should be met with responses like, “You’re really brave meant for telling me that. Thank you. ” Secure the child who has been assaulted, do not put them in situations using the perpetrator. To interact with the perpetrator is certainly unsafe and re-traumatizing.

Exactly the same validating response must be given to a child who have says they are taking a look at pornography. Shame produces isolation and silences children from speaking up or searching for help. When pity is taken out of the particular equation, there are much better chances of children recovery, growing, and talking up in the future.

Get help. Kids’ brains need help selecting out trauma and early sexualization. Therapy is needed for children who have been assaulted and children who have acted out there in harmful sexual ways.

Indulge. Children often accidentally stumble upon porn while innocently searching for other things online. Talk to your children about porn before this happens, and ensure it is safe for kids in order to speak up if they see something. Check your children’s screens plus devices frequently. Children who habitually take a look at porn, are more likely to rebel. Check and see what your kids are looking at. Speak to your children about their health. Empower them simply by telling them that other people should never be taking pictures of or even touching their personal areas because their body is precious plus belongs to them.

Educate. Talk to others about online security. Discuss the relationship between sexual attack and pornography, regarding keeping kids safe. The more people are aware, the better chance we now have at protecting our children.

Opt for your gut

While this subject is heavy plus overwhelming, I think it’s imperative that we realize the insidious planet that pornography is definitely creating for our children. My last bit of advice is, “Go with your gut. ” If something doesn’t “seem right” together with your child, it’s not. Create a safe environment by means of talking and activities. Provide a space where your child knows they can disclose that they have already been abused or are struggling with what they’ve seen online. Exhibit that your children will be met with attention and protection rather than shame or refusal.

Basic safety and validation from the caregiver make all the difference in the world to some child’s healing process.

About the Author

Heidi Olson (RN, BSN, CPN, SANE-P) is a Certified Pediatric Nurse and a Certified Intimate Assault Nurse Reviewer, evaluator (SANE). She works as the SANE System Coordinator at Children’s Mercy Hospital in KS and MO. Heidi has a broad variety of experience in pediatric and forensic medical and her present role includes executing forensic exams upon children who have been sufferers of sexual attack, following up with victims and their families right after discharge, communicating with police force, child protective solutions, prosecutors, the FBI and educating the particular healthcare staff upon topics regarding children and sexual exploitation. Heidi also serves an expert witness for your prosecution during tests for victims of sexual assault. In the last year and half, Heidi has performed and reviewed nearly 700 pediatric sex assault cases. Heidi has presented more than 100 times in the last year about realizing human trafficking, the harms of porn material, sexual assault plus sexual exploitation in a variety of settings from medical schools to national conferences. Heidi likes rainy weather, coffee, her family and correct crime podcasts.

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