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Tips on how to Let Go: 5 Steps to Move On and Feel Less Pain

“ Many of us think holding on can make us strong, yet sometimes it is letting proceed. ”

Herman Hesse

I often talk about finding lightness in every area of your life.

It can come from an unhurried but effective trip to work or from uncluttering  your home.

Or from learning how to let go and move on in life.

Learning to let go of a relationship, associated with something else in your previous, of something that is just an unimportant distraction or of aiming to control what you are unable to control can free up huge amounts of the power and the time you need to use for something better and more fulfilling.

It is not always easy. But it can be life-changing.

In this article you can find five methods that have made it simpler for me to let go over the years.

I hope they will help you as well.

Step 1 : Know the advantages of not letting go.

Why is it occasionally hard to let go of some thing?

Well, to be honest, there are benefits and benefits to not letting go. At least for instant gratification and in the short run.

  • You get to maintain feeling like you are usually right. And like the some other person is wrong. And that can be a pleasurable feeling and way to look at the situation available.
  • You can assume the victim role. And get attention, support and comfort and ease from other people.
  • \ to go out in to the scary unknown. You can cling to what you know instead, to what is acquainted and safe even if that it is now just a imagine what you once had.

I have not forget about things in the past because of these reasons. I nevertheless sometimes delay allowing go of factors because of those benefits above.

But I am also conscious of the fact that they are something I get free from not letting move. And I know that finally they are not worth it.


  • What is going to the long-term implications be in my life easily do not let go?
  • How will it affect the next five years in my lifetime and the relationships I possess both with other individuals and with myself?

The particular mix of knowing how these benefits will harm me in the long run and of knowing that there are even bigger benefits that I might get from letting move become a powerful motivator that pushes me on to let go meant for my own sake plus happiness.

Step 2: Accept what is, then let go.

When you accept what exactly is, that this has happened then it becomes simpler to let go.


Because when you’re still struggling in your mind against what has happened then you feed that will memory or circumstance with more energy.

You create what someone mentioned or did a great deal larger and more powerful in your mind than it might are typically in reality.

By accepting it simply has occurred – that you had been rejected after a date for example – and letting it in instead of trying to push it away something unusual happens after a while.

The issue or even your memory of the situation becomes much less powerful in your mind. You don’t feel because upset or depressing about it as you do before. You become less emotionally attached to it.

And so it becomes easier to let it go and for you to proceed with your life.

Step three: Forgive.

If somebody wrongs you then it will eventually probably cause a person pain for a while.

But after that you have a choice.

You can will not let go of what happened. Plus instead let it interfere with your relationship and replay what happened over and over in your mind.

Or you can choose to forgive.

First accepting what happened can be helpful to make it easier to forgive.

Another thing you can do is not to focus on forgiving because it is “something you’re supposed to do”.

Instead, if you like, find the inspiration to forgive for you own sake. Do it for your own well-being, pleasure and for the time you have left in your life.

Because, as Catherine Ponder states:

“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or even condition by an emotional link that is stronger than metal. Forgiveness is the just way to dissolve that link and get free. ”

And that you forgive does not mean that you must stay passive towards your future.

You may for example choose to forgive but also to spend less time or no time in the future with anyone who has hurt you.

Step 4: Focus on what you CAN influence in your life.

Simply by reliving what happened repeatedly in your mind you aren’t really changing anything.

Unless you possess a time-machine you don’t have any kind of control over the past.

And becoming distracted or concerned by things that you can not control in your life by any means right now doesn’t help.

Therefore ask yourself:

  • What CAN We focus my time and effort on instead to actually make positive improvement or a change inside my life?
  • And what is one little step I can take today to get started with this?

My experience continues to be that by switching my focus from what I cannot influence to what I actually possess influence over and in that way over and over again – by utilizing questions like the ones above – it is easier and easier to stop worrying and to let go of what provides happened or what I cannot control.

Phase 5: Let go once again (if  necessary).

If you let go of something that happened or some muddiness in your life then that might not be the end of it.

Life is not always that nice. The issue or thoughts might pop up once again.

After that let it go once more.

I have found that each time I allow something go it pops up less and less regularly and it has less strength over me.

Plus, this extra practice will make it easier to let go in the future. Letting go is something you will get better at over time just like for example keeping a good mindset during a down economy.