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How My Porn Obsession Fueled Self-Harming and Made Myself Hate My Body

TRIGGER CAUTION

Many people contact Fight the newest Drug to share their private stories about how porn has affected their life or maybe the life of a loved one. All of us consider these personal accounts very valuable because, while the science and research is effective within its own right, private accounts from real individuals seem to really hit home about the damage that pornography does to real lives.

We received a story that shows what a real struggle pornography can change into. Not everyone will have this same experience with porno, while it may be more common than we realize.

Hey FTND,

I wanted to write to you about my experience with pornography and how it affected me.

I first looked at porn around 16 years old. I’ ve always been interested in sex and I thought porn might teach me more about it. I always wanted to wait for marriage to have sex but I had been thinking I would be able to learn how to do things for my husband to be. Well, I was wrong.

I would consume porn multiple times each week and each period the porn would be graphic and disgusting. We felt ashamed but I might keep watching it, persuading myself it was okay, even though I was brought up in a conventional household. Things really required a turn when I eventually found myself looking at lesbian porn. I am a directly girl but I couldn’ t stop watching 2 girls being together. What started as something “ innocent” turned into something that took over my life.

I started to view me personally as less because I actually didn’ t look like the women I watched. Because of this, I actually started cutting myself regarding six months into watching porno. Everything just became dark in my world. I held watching and kept feeling terrible about it, but couldn’ t stop. After in regards to a year of hurting personally, I was able to stop reducing, but I continued viewing porn.

Related: Why Watching Porn Along with My Partner Was A Terrible Idea

Brain Heart World

This harmful habit continued until I met my husband. We dated for some time and I eventually found out he watched porn as well. Exactly the same thing that tore me lower and broke me was doing the same to him. I tried to let it go to get a couple months and pretend it wasn’ t an issue, but then I had a sort of a good epiphany. I knew if porn continued to be in our lifestyles we would never make it as a couple. I knew the two of us needed to break free in order to succeed together.

We committed to each other that we would stop watching it which has made all the difference. He has been clean for seven months now and I’ ve been clean to get a full year. Life has become so much better! We really like each other and it feels great to be working on the best edition of ourselves. Of course , the particular devastating low self-esteem as well as the feeling of not being agreeable enough still gets myself time to time, but I fight against it and there isn’ t any judgment between us.

Related: “No Harm In Looking, Right? ” A Study Of Porn’s Impact On Self-Esteem

Pornography actually messed up my brain, yet stopping really reversed the consequences. Every day is a battle, but it’ s a battle we will win together. Sending out love to everyone who presently struggles or has fought with porn. You’ lso are not alone, and you can stop!

– D.

Give One For Love

Why This Matters

Did you know that porn can distort people’s perceptions of sex, closeness, body image, and sexual performance?

And not only that will, research is shedding light on a previously little-known fact about porn: it’s harmful to consumers’ brains. Thanks to all the research that has been done in recent years, individuals are finally starting to realize that will pornography is toxic.

The research on just how porn affects how consumers view them self, their partner, and their human relationships, in general, is becoming prevalent. When people consume porn, it not just warps their view of others, but it can also twist their particular view of themselves.

Associated: Has Our own Culture’s Obsession With Porno Changed Dating Expectations?

One thing we’ ll end with: a 2012 study by Amanda Maddox and her group concluded that individuals who never seen sexually-explicit material reported higher relationship quality (on every single measure) compared with those who viewed the same explicit material by themselves.

Porn is definitely trash, and you deserve much better.

Need help?

For those reading this exactly who feel they are struggling with pornography, you are not alone. Check out our friends at Fortify, the science-based recovery platform focused on helping you find lasting independence from pornography. Fortify now offers a free experience intended for both teens and adults. Connect with others, learn about your compulsive behavior, and track your recovery journey. There is certainly hope—sign up today.

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