Once you Don’t Like Your Story
If Sharon Jaynes were my next-door neighbor, we would sit lengthy on my front porch and whisper stories showing how God has taken the broken pieces of our lives and fashioned and fitted them in to a masterpiece of His sophistication. She would tell of how she refused to prevent in the middle of her story plus determined to keep moving forward with the flow of God’s pencil, and then I would tell of my own. Our minds beat with the same interest to see God through the look out of placed of pain plus embrace the story we have been given. It is my joy in order to invite Sharon to the farm’ s front porch today…
guest post by Sharon Jaynes
M y child, Steven, and I sat on the floor in his room playing a card game. The summer was proving to be the best actually.
Our golden retriever, Ginger, had simply delivered seven adorable puppies, Steven was enjoying their sixth summer of lifestyle, and after four years of negative pregnancy tests, God experienced surprised us with a new life growing inside my tummy.
But since Steven and I sat cross-legged on the carpet, I experienced a warm, sticky feeling run down my leg. A visit to the bathroom confirmed the greatest fear—my dream ended up away. Later that mid-day, the doctor voiced the large words, “There is no heart beat. ”
What do you do whenever heartbreak slams into pleasure? When your soul cracks open and there just are not enough tears? When hurt steals your hope and you also want to give up on life? When deep soul lesions create a mockery of your faith?
I desire I could tell you I left the doctor’s office quoting Romans 8: 28 about how exactly “all things work together regarding good” (ESV).
I wish I could inform you that I calmly accepted losing my baby with trust, trusting that even this was somehow part of God’s plan.
I wish I could tell you I invested the rest of the day singing “It Is Well with Our Soul . ” But I didn’t go of those things.
I went house, crawled in bed, and drawn the covers up over my empty womb and broken heart. I didn’t want to talk to anyone, especially Lord. And what Used to do say to Him wasn’t very nice.
How could you do this to me? If this can be how you treat those you like, then just forget this! You answered my prayer only to take it back! Exactly why me? Why this? The reason why now?
Lord and I had a lover’s quarrel that summer. Actually, I had been the only one arguing. I felt betrayed from the One who was supposed to appreciate me most. Pierced with the One who was supposed to safeguard my heart.
And while I gave God the particular cold shoulder, His warm embrace refused to let me go. He stayed right by my side, waiting around, wooing, and drawing our hurting heart back to Your pet.
Lord always wants to heal our broken places and fill up our empty spaces. I can see that now, but We couldn’t see it then.
So , as God persisted, I resisted.
Our sweet buddy Ann once wrote, “I wonder… if the rent in the canvas of our life backdrop, the losses that hole our world, our own emptiness, could actually become places to see. To see through to God. ”
I had been thrust into one of those rents, a see-through place, but till I opened my eyes, I might not see God with the loss of my child.
Everybody loves a good story, but not everybody loves their own story.
Mistakes pile high like weeks-old laundry. Shame whispers, “If they only knew. ” Tear-stained pages warp and cause the volume to fall open to unwanted webpages. Dog-eared corners mark distressing happenings we keep going returning to in order to make sense of it all of.
Some web pages have spots worn slim from rubbing a mental eraser over words that won’t go away. Lines we’ve tried to cross out rather stand out and taunt all of us.
We have all got them—unwanted webpages. Yes, I’d like a various story, please.
For most of us, it is not the entire of our stories that we do not like, but just particular parts. Our tragedies, shock to the system, and too-dark-to-tell memories may be different, but the pain will be the same.
The husband left.
The boyfriend cheated.
A friend betrayed.
A mother or father abused.
A boss misused.
A disease ravished.
A steering wheel jerked.
A gunshot terminated.
A child died.
Dont really know the difficulties you’ve experienced, but I do know your tale didn’t end there. There is certainly more to be written, plus God is even now sinking His pen into the inkwell of wholeness, writing your story and mine in to His larger story. God turns broken stories into beautiful prose and undesirable pages into stunning narratives of victory. That is not just a promise; it’s the bedrock truth —one I know from personal experience.
The parts of my story I used to wish God had edited out have become the ones God has outlined as His most amazing work.
Months after losing our baby, God gave me a sweet gift. I was lying in bed trying to picture her in heaven. I pondered what she looked like. I wondered what she was doing. I wondered in case I’d recognize her while i get there. Then I pictured her with Jesus, playing. The girl wasn’t sad at all.
In my mind’s eye, God pulled back the curtain separating the particular physical from the eternal and gave me a glimpse of her. It had been a see-through place in the torn canvas of my life.
My time of year of deep mourning finished that night. I ceased asking, “Why me? ” and started asking, “What now? ” Like a miner with a pickax, I was ready to look for the veins of gold buried in the dark plus rocky soil of our suffering. I had been ready to learn whatever God wanted me to learn regarding myself and about trusting in the unfailing love, even when my life felt like it was falling aside.
During those days, I actually sensed God asking, Will you trust me? We didn’t understand why my narrative was unfolding as it was, and I didn’t like this unpleasant twist in the plot, yet I did believe that, in the end, my story would be a good one.
I believed it because God excellent, and His ways are good. And I believed it because We knew even then that when God allows hurt to take place, He uses the recovery of that hurt to give all of us a purpose we might never have identified without it. As Christ told His disciples, “You don’t understand now exactly what I’m doing, but at some point you will, ” (John 13: 7 NLT).
Several years after our family’s loss, I discovered that Sharon was the name of a fertile valley in Israel. And suddenly I realize that although my medical chart learn infertile , God had made me a fertile valley in manners I had never imaged. That tearstained section of disappointment had become one of my greatest wins.
Hardships often prepare everyone else for an extraordinary destiny.
And with all our worst chapters, we can wrest redemption from the jaws of brokenness and allow God to use it permanently.
Our pain can become a portal of God’s grace.
The ravaged pages can become God’s redemptive masterpiece for the world to see.
Sharon Jaynes is a blogger, speaker, co-founder associated with Girlfriends in God, writer for Proverbs 31 Ministries, and best-selling author associated with 25 books.
Today’s faithfulness was taken from her newest release, When You Don’t The Story: What if Your Most severe Chapters Could Become Your own Greatest Victories. In the webpages she asks, what if Our god doesn’t want us in order to rip out our hard stories but repurpose all of them for good? We are able to learn to embrace the story i was given, and to trust The almighty to keep writing our tale into His. When we do, God turns broken stories into beautiful prose and unwanted pages into spectacular narratives of victory. We can see that our challenges have made us stronger, braver, and wiser than we would have ever been without all of them. Click here to watch a video or even read a sample chapter.
Allow your story be proof of your strength and braveness that shouts to the planet that a new ending can be done.
[ Our humble thanks to Thomas Nelson for their partnership in today’s devotion ]