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Phil’s Story: I Bought Sex from the Woman While on Vacation, Not Realizing She Was a Trafficking Victim


This Guest Piece Has been Written By Jay Stringer, LMHC, a researcher and certified therapist. 6 Minute Read.

Behind the Scenes associated with Porn: Futility and Coercion

By Jay Stringer

As a mental health counselor, I actually work primarily with people looking for freedom from the use of porn material and buying sex. Last year, I received an email from a man—I will call him Phil—who said he could benefit from speaking with a therapist about some significant incidents he skilled during his time abroad.

Phil approved a position with an international firm headquartered in Hong Kong after he completed his bachelor’s degree. Phil, like many of his college friends, had been hooked on pornography. So when the prospect of moving to Asian countries was first announced, they all started joking about how much sexual intercourse he would be able to buy in the surrounding countries.

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Phil’ s story

The first yr in Hong Kong was far more difficult than Phil dreamed. His entry-level position became increasingly meaningless and he experienced deeply disconnected from his family and friends. After nearly nine months abroad, he decided to take a two-week vacation to Asia. As Phil spoke relating to this to me, something in his countenance shifted. He told a tale of arriving in a small town in Thailand where he has been treated like a king. He or she was given access to nearly any woman or child he desired.

Related: Understanding The Heartbreaking Sex Trafficking Industry In The Philippines

In what has been supposed to be one of the most erotic moments of his life, most he could focus on was viewing the deadness in the teenagers’ eyes that he purchased sex from. Phil put it like this:

“I remember thinking, Who have I become? By the end of our trip, I was doing horrible things I swore I might never do in my life. I actually left devastated by what We chose. The way I see porn material and buying sex has been forever altered. ”

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Trafficking and porn production, all within the same room

In several of the villages and brothels Phil visited, this individual was surprised to see webcams and other equipment for pornography production. When these ladies and children were not being sold meant for sex, they were forced to operate front of cameras. The content would then be uploaded to many of the leading porn sites around the world.

The more Phil looked about, the more he saw designs like poverty, fraud, plus coercion driving a moms involvement in pornography. One particular woman he met was misled about an employment possibility at a resort. When she arrived, she had to “work” off her travel financial debt with sex and pornography before she could be free.

Related: The Inseparable Link Between Porn And Human Trafficking

Phil’s travels overseas showed him the subtle link between the world of pornography and sex trafficking. Behind the scenes of pornography, there was far more occurring than this individual ever would have known. Within sex trafficking, traffickers make use of force, fraud, or coercion to lure their sufferers into sexual exploitation. Pornography is the marketing department of the sex trafficking industry.

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The two-dimensional product from a three-dimensional concern

Pornography is able to conceal what a small town in Thailand cannot. It may show a woman choked plus raped in the United States and modify out the reality she only consented to be an celebrity in a film for $150. Porn can display beauty on a webcam but censors away her true age, economic situation, and the lifetime of coercion she gets undergone to arrive at that moment on your own screen.

I am certainly not saying that all pornography production has ties to sex trafficking. But what I am asking us to think about is what Phil witnessed that led him to an inflection point about his consumption of pornography—that sometimes , it IS tied more closely than we know.

Related: 10 Celebs Who Are Stepping Up And Fighting To End Sex Trafficking

As humans, the spectrum spanning the dignity and our problem is far-reaching. One of the most beautiful aspects of our humanity will be our ability to love and appear out for the interests of others. And one of our greatest downsides is when we choose to use someone for financial, relational, or sexual gain.

What all forms of trafficking have shown us is that greed and power are central drivers of the demand for any product or person. It is no different with pornography. Men desire pornography not just because it is sexually arousing, but also because it gives them the strength to attain what they want, exactly if they want it. Few other realms of life offer males that level of control.

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Key motorists of the demand for porno

I recently finished a research study on nearly 3, 800 men and women for the key drivers of porn material use. My research discovered that men who failed to have a clear sense of purpose were 7x more prone to increase his involvement within pornography. These men felt like the work they did has been meaningless, struggled to find a sense of purpose, looked back again over their lives plus saw many failures, and frequently felt unmotivated. When it was a man’s story, their pornography use escalated with a factor of seven.

When men have no idea how to confront and transform the difficulties of their life, pornography becomes deeply appealing since it requires so little of them in exchange. The pornographic version of life is desirable, precisely since it offers men a temporary, yet fleeting, experience of control.

Associated: 5 Basic Reasons Why People Choose To Look At Porn

One of the reasons that people’s attempts to break free from pornography often fail is that they do not understand the way it has come to provide them. If not through porno, where would we choose escape? If not through porno, where would we immediate our anger? Stopping the particular demand begins by determining the unique reasons that provide us to it in the first place.

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Porn has a powerful ability to hijack the very best version of ourselves

Outsourcing our troubles to pornography compromises our identity. Even more heartbreaking, we all become increasingly calloused to the impact our demand to get pornography has on the bodies and stories of the humans marketed for sexual intake.

Two from the core questions the need for pornography corners guys with is: 1) So how exactly does our use of pornography hijack us from the people we all desire to become? and, 2) Why is the subordination and exploitation of women one of the major ways we respond to the futility we feel?

Related : How The Porn Sector Capitalizes On Loneliness And Depression

Phil’s relationship to pornography was transformed when he or she finally realized it promoted the exploitation of trafficked women and children. It was furthermore transformed through acknowledging the particular futility that drove him to it. The demand designed for pornography harms exploited people and simultaneously derails guys from realizing their deeper longings.

There are stunning cathedrals of wish within us when we outgrow our hovels of pornographic arousal.

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Getting the motivation to stop contributing to the demand

Porn will begin to lose its allure when you realize how it has stolen from you the authentic identity and feeling of purpose you really want. To find freedom, confront the truth that choosing pornography has consequences past the damage to your own identification and formation—you may be eating what ultimately is exploitation against men, women, women, and boys in your own hometown or thousands of miles away.

But do not try and stop your porn use motivated by guilt and shame you feel intended for that—it’s not effective.

Instead, allow yourself to be captivated by some thing much more powerful and sustainable—the image of becoming the person you’ve longed to become—whole, purposeful, and unencumbered by the snare of pornography.

Concerning the Author

Jay Stringer, LMHC, is a certified mental health counselor from Seattle, WA. He is the author of Undesired: How Sexual Brokenness Shows Our Way to Healing . The book is based on an investigation study he completed upon over 3, 800 women and men exploring the key drivers associated with pornography use. To purchase Jay’s book or to obtain a free chapter, visit their website: jay-stringer. com/book.

The post Phil’ s Story: I Bought Sex from a Woman While on Vacation, Not Realizing She Was obviously a Trafficking Victim appeared very first on Fight the New Medication.