several Effective Parenting Principles
I am often asked what we did or even didn’t do as moms and dads. And we did have a few parenting principles, but truthfully it was all grace.
Along the way, however , Lord allowed us the opportunity and responsibility to raise 2 of the finest men I understand. Both married, with children, serving in vocational ministry – they are far better guys than I was at their age. What a blessing!
I do not believe there are guarantees, even if you live with the parenting principles we utilized. Some of the best parents I know are usually struggling with their adult children, but I do believe they may be helpful.
3 or more effective parenting principles we used:
Parenting is difficult work. Don’t try it without a plan . It’s incredible how we tend to plan for every thing in life, but seldom for our parenting. I know men and women that have a plan to improve their round of golf, but nothing to help them develop as a father or mother. Parents whom plan great social events but have no plan to infuse values in their children – they simply react to lifetime as it happens. Some mothers and fathers scramble to make their children delighted, making sure they are in every activity available, but never quit to think what kind of character they want their children to have as adults and what is going to best help them get there.
I believe one of the best raising a child skills is simply to think intentionally about the role. Things such as having an overall goal and plan for your raising a child. This includes an individual plan for each child. They are each various and require unique self-discipline, interaction and approaches to raising a child. It means deciding in advance the actual character and values you might be going for and thinking through – intentionally – ways to develop them.
Sometimes we give them almost everything they want materially, but by no means help them develop self-discipline and structure for their lifetime.
At the start of each new year, we discussed every boy and came up with the shared goal for each one and talked through methods we could better mold their own character in the coming calendar year. We thought about character traits should as honesty, honesty and kindness. It produced us limit some of their activities so we could spend good time with them and make sure these were in the right programs (yes church was one) and around the right people influences.
Shape the center
I believe in firm self-discipline, but I also believe in extending much grace. More than anything, however , the parent should learn to know, protect and help form the heart of their child. The Bible is clear we should “ Above all else guard the very center for it is the wellspring of life . ” (Proverbs 4: 23) It is the cardiovascular, which will ultimately determine the decisions and directions the kid eventually makes in life.
We taught the boys biblical principles, distributed to them our own struggles and tried to build deep connections with them. Again, this needed time to develop, so we ate most dinner meals with each other and never turned down an opportunity to throw and catch a basketball.
We learned great lessons from older friends of matters they did which tended to push their children away rather than draw them closer . I always wanted to have a heart connection to our young boys. That doesn’ t imply we gave them every thing, but Ephesians 6 instructions us not to exasperate our children. We exasperate when we possess needless rules or when our homes lack sophistication.
Enjoy the ride
Children are kids for a very short time. The diaper days turn into the diploma times quickly. One day you’ lmost all look back and long for those people clothes or toys lying down on the floor. We tried to help remind ourselves of this often and enjoy those days.
We tried to balance the discipline they needed using the fun of childhood they will craved. Having a laugh with your children will help relieve the stress of your own life and theirs. It keeps all of them wanting to be close to you well into the difficult teen and early adult years. Therefore , we played games and made up songs and laughed until it hurt sometimes.
We wished their friends also to realize that ours was a welcoming house – where love abounds always. You may not allow everything, but the door should always be open for a child to return.
We also held in our mind that children couldn’ t handle all of the stress of the adult planet. We didn’ t hide problems from our boys, yet we tried to help them believe God was in manage, they could trust Him plus us and simply enjoy as being a child.
When it comes to intentionality, I have posted our complete parenting philosophy on this page.
The blog post 3 Effective Parenting Principles appeared first on Ron Edmondson.